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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22699015">we can't run out of second chances, only time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaWallflower/pseuds/MegaWallflower'>MegaWallflower</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Naruto</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blank Period, Grief/Mourning, Heart-to-Heart, Hospital Discharge, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-War, Team as Family</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 11:14:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22699015</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaWallflower/pseuds/MegaWallflower</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war, it’s Kakashi’s turn to be Guy’s pillar.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hatake Kakashi/Maito Gai | Might Guy, Maito Gai | Might Guy &amp; Tenten, Rock Lee &amp; Maito Gai | Might Guy, Rock Lee &amp; Tenten</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>285</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>KakaGai Week 2019 entries</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>we can't run out of second chances, only time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kakashi still remembered the day Guy was discharged.</p><p>It was a rainy, windy day, downcast and stormy. Even the world itself was trying to make up for the tears that Guy refused to shed. Guy hadn’t let that dampen his spirit in the slightest. Even with the heavy clouds, his grin found a way to shine.</p><p>Kakashi wasn’t there to send him off.</p><p>Lee and Tenten were.</p><p>Kakashi had to admit, he was worried. But it was for the best for him to stay out of Guy’s way and simply watch. It was easy enough with Kakashi’s skillset. He noted every twitch of Guy’s muscles; every nervous tick of his body. He couldn’t be sure whether or not Guy was ignoring him or just hadn’t noticed, but Lee and Tenten were definitely unaware of his presence.</p><p>
  <em>The tables have turned, haven’t they, Guy? You probably used to watch over me like this, like some sort of stubborn guardian angel…</em>
</p><p>As zealous and full of energy as ever, Guy insisted on wheeling himself out of the hospital, even if it meant brushing aside the protests of both of his remaining students. He wouldn’t accept any help when he lifted himself into his new wheelchair, free of the uncomfortable high armrests of the hospital wheelchairs. When Tenten or Lee tried to push him, he rolled out of reach quickly as a silent way to let them know that he could handle this by himself.</p><p>“This is training for me! I can handle this much easily!” he’d assured them, when he noticed the sympathy and pity written all over Lee and Tenten’s faces. Lee looked close to tears, but he finally gave up trying. There was so much baggage on his shoulders. Kakashi wondered if his students could tell how weighed down Guy was too, underneath it all.</p><p>The air around Guy turned somber and hopeless. Lee pouted, and Tenten tried to smile sympathetically reassure Lee that it’d be okay. She was always prone to boughs of depression. Lee and Guy’s exuberance had always helped her stay positive and determined. It had always been fun and games with each other. <em>After all that’s happened,</em> she seemed to wonder, <em>how are we ever going to laugh together again?</em></p><p>In the next moment, her silent question was answered.</p><p> “—Lee! Listen up!” Guy announced suddenly, with a grin and a laugh and a Nice Guy Pose.</p><p>Lee responded with a wet sniff. Tenten looked away.</p><p>Guy patted his cast lightly. “This is far from the end of the world. This? It was only a leg. And a leg is just a single part of my body! There are so many other parts! There’s still the essence of health itself! Just because a single piece is gone, that doesn’t mean the rest of the body must be compromised along with it! Especially the heart!” Apparently, Guy was still full of fatherly advice. “Got it?”</p><p>Lee nodded. “Of course, Guy sensei.”</p><p>“You better! Now,” Guy held out his hand, palm down, and fixed Lee and Tenten with an expectant look, “Shout it out, with all your heart and all your spirit! Give me a victory cry!”</p><p>Tenten blinked. “Um… here? Right now?” Usually Tenten would sound skeptical or annoyed, but she just sounded pitying.</p><p>Guy and Tenten entered into one of their infamous stare-downs. She gave up faster than Neji would, though, and weakly placed her hand over Guy’s and Lee’s.</p><p>“Now give your best ‘Fight’!”</p><p>“Fight…” Even Lee’s was weak.</p><p>“Fight!” Guy ordered, and Tenten and Lee kept at it, “Fight!”</p><p>Slowly, the sadness that hung in the air dissipated, as the three of them let out a cheer together in unison, loud enough for passersby to stop and stare and, for the more obstinate ones to call back, “Shut up!”</p><p>That was enough to get a chuckle out of Tenten, and Lee straightened his back and shouted even louder, because he always loved proving the world wrong. Tenten secretly loved it too, so she shouted louder, until the three of them were just a cacophony of defiant battle cries.</p><p>Guy ended the cheer abruptly to continue his speech, “Now! Both of you! It’s your turn to take the lead while I smile and watch! I’m proud of you! I always knew I would be looking up to the both of you, standing tall and proud and accomplished someday! I want to hear you both continue to live at the top of your lungs, with all of your youth!” Guy tugged them both down into a gentle, strong hug before either of them could say a word in response.</p><p>They didn’t need to. Lee finally burst into tears and fell to his knees to wrap Guy up in a proper hug. Tenten let herself simply lean into the embrace, closing her eyes and sinking comfortably into the feeling. “Guy-sensei, the two of you are such dorks!” She said, trying for deadpan but sounding too fond. She sobbed out in relief, “You’re so annoying!”</p><p>“Yes, we are!” He agreed, and it actually managed to get a laugh out of Tenten. “But! Dork or not, here’s what matters the most: our hearts must not be deluded by our circumstances, no matter what! It’s one of the muscles we train to strengthen, too! Even without a right leg, there’s still a left leg! And even without a left leg, there are still two arms! Even without that, we have each other! Wrapped up in each other’s arms like this, isn’t much easier to remember what we still have?” He spoke with a confidence and sincerity that had Kakashi biting back a smile. Something warm unspooled in Kakashi’s ribcage.</p><p>Tenten moved to pull herself in closer and wound her arms around him in return, holding him close, squeezing her eyes shut as a quiet, giggly sigh escaped her. Surprisingly, Tenten was crying. A rare downpour of tears wet her cheeks and Guy’s shoulder with one or two gentle sobs slipping into open air as he rocked them both gently back and forth and stroked their hair.</p><p>Guy was a solid pillar of strength to his kids, even now.</p><p>Especially now.</p><p>Guy didn’t dare frown or shed a tear in front of Lee or Tenten. He kept up his speeches and antics and hyperboles until he had Lee following along to try to outdo Guy’s dramatics. Lee finally wiped his still-falling tears and mirrored his mentor’s Nice Guy pose. Eventually, Tenten was rolling her eyes and crossing her arms and playing the straight man to Lee and Guy as always, with laughter in her eyes and respite in her smiles.</p><p>When Guy was with those two, it was almost like all was right with the world again. He looked like he didn’t have a care in the world.</p><p>It was when Guy was alone that he let himself drop.</p><p>Really, it was then that he <em>had</em> to.</p><p>Guy trained alone now.</p><p>He had always boasted his taijutsu skills as a master of his own body. It frustrated Guy to no end that he couldn’t make that same body do what he wanted it to anymore, that his body didn’t feel like the body he had spent his whole life shaping piece by piece. There was a sharp hiss of pain as Guy collapsed again, and he wept, not his goofy, manly tears, but tears of vexation and frustration.</p><p>Guy buried his palms into the harsh dirt and heaved herself up on his elbows. It hurt to be brought back to this. It hurt to feel such an alien exhaustion and agony from barely anything, all this pain without gaining a single thing from it. It branded Guy just as much as the sting of dirt underneath his flesh.</p><p>He urged himself back on his hands and knees, his hand swiping at the sweat-soaked mud stuck to his cheek. His hands had blistered and calloused over already, and his muscles were aching and sore, but he didn’t complain. When he fell, he got back up, wiped the blood from his lips, and scolded himself, “I can do it this time. I’ll keep going. I don’t give up. I’m not this weak.”</p><p>He tried again. Pushed himself up again.</p><p>And fell, again.</p><p>And again, and again.</p><p>Guy dug his teeth into his lower lip as his muscles tensed; willing the tears he felt to not come.</p><p>Even Guy had his breaking points, although only a few people were aware of the fact besides Kakashi. Guy clenched his fists and fruitlessly punched the ground hard enough to scrap his skin until it bled. He wasn't satisfied with this. He hadn't been satisfied since he woke up. Beginning anew was so much harder in practice than it was in theory, and Guy had come so far from nothing, just to be sent right back into it.</p><p>As a weak little kid who was always knocked down, Guy had always managed to find his way back up to his feet. He and Duy made it seem so easy. But now, Guy’s scars burned with the anger and grief and guilt and pain that had seared into his skin. They weighed him down like an anchor dug into the earth. Kakashi glanced down at Guy’s anchor, the cast around his foot, and felt a twinge of guilt, thinking of the ugly red and raw patches of burned skin that lay hidden beneath the gauze. </p><p>He almost hadn't realized just how much Guy’s cheerful personality had acted as a buffer in front of his already grieving students. With those two gone, there was truly nothing standing in the way of everything Guy had suppressed.</p><p>Perhaps that was why Kakashi found himself wandering places like these, keeping his distance even now, scraping dangerously close to being found by Guy. The unease in the pit of his stomach became more prominent the longer they remained like this. Every fiber in his being begged for him to finally reach for Guy, offer him a hand and help him back up.</p><p>But he couldn’t. It’d just tick him off, or hurt him even more. Kakashi just watched over him, like this. Most days, Guy would train himself to exhaustion and pass out on the ground, and Kakashi would patch him back up and carry him to bed. If Guy knew it was Kakashi was taking him home every time he blacked out training by himself, he hadn’t said so yet. He hadn’t thanked him or told him to stop.</p><p>Maybe Guy was this raw and emotional because he didn’t know he was being watched. Or maybe he didn’t care, because it was Kakashi, and since when could they reliably hide anything from each other? They were the only ones left alive who had really seen each other at their lowest.</p><p>Kakashi got his answer soon enough when Guy sighed and grunted and pushed himself up, physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted, out of tears to cry. “…I know you’re there, Kakashi.” He didn’t even look up when he said it. Guy knew all along. Two years ago, it would have been embarrassing, but he barely registered surprise now. Guy was always a bit smarter than Kakashi gave him credit for.</p><p>“Yo.” He spoke playfully, revealing himself with a lazy wave. Kakashi wished that Guy would at least greet him with a smile or a simple excited “Rival”. Guy hadn’t called him that even once since he woke up after the war.</p><p>Face pale with concentration, Guy latched onto the handles of his chair and drew himself up onto his knees, weakly propping himself back up and climbing into his wheelchair. He looked up to face his rival. Either he couldn’t hide how heavily he was panting from exertion or he wasn’t trying to.</p><p>A few rays of light peaked through the clouds, alighting Guy’s face in the absence of his brilliant smile. The tear streaks were visible on his cheeks. Guy turned his gaze upwards, taking in all of his surroundings. When he finally opened his mouth again, he didn’t say “Rival” or “Beloved Friend” or “My Favorite Person in the world.”</p><p>He just said “Kakashi,” with a shake of his head. Not quite a greeting, especially not by Guy’s standard.</p><p>Kakashi was less focused on the apprehensive look on Guy’s face, and more focused on the residue of tears prickling painfully from his exhausted eyes to smear between his long lashes. And still, Kakashi caught his eye and smiled.</p><p>“Hey, Guy. Imagine running into you here.” He took a step towards him, slowly. Guy’s hands gripped the wheels of his chair, bruised and trembling, but wary of anything that Kakashi could be planning. Kakashi took another step, then another. He kept getting closer, slowly, as to not set him off. “You saw Lee and Tenten off well. It was amazing. You always were a better teacher than I was…” It was one of the most straight-forward compliments he’d ever given Guy, the closest thing to appreciation. “As always, I’m in awe of you. Konoha’s blue beast.”</p><p>“Kakashi…” The familiar smile still didn’t cross Guy’s face. If anything, he looked warier, insulted almost. “Did you come to scold me? Or to laugh? To mock the man that used to be your rival, I guess.”</p><p>“’Used to be’?” Kakashi blinked at him with a confused glance, head tipping to one side languidly. “Maa… I must not understand what words like eternal and destiny mean, if you only ‘used to be’ my rival. I thought youth was forever. Don’t go getting old on me already. We’re just getting started, aren’t we, Guy?”</p><p>Guy edged back ashamedly.</p><p>Kakashi tried instead, “I don’t see you saying you used to be Lee’s mentor. Our bond’s more fragile than the one you have with your students?”</p><p>“It just turns out that <em>I’m</em> that fragile, Lord Sixth.”</p><p>“You’re the strongest man I know, Rival. Stronger than me.”</p><p>Guy jolted in surprise, and Kakashi couldn’t tell if it was from the compliment or from having his tendency to use “Rival” as a term of endearment used against him.</p><p>Kakashi was a little surprised at himself. It wasn’t quite the time to feel this way, but he felt a warm fondness wash over him, because Guy was alive, and he was awake, and he was here outside of the hospital, being stubborn and pigheaded and trying too hard. It was nice to call him his rival again.</p><p>When he noticed Kakashi’s too-intense gaze, Guy fidgeted and laughed self-consciously. “Ha! I’m talking too much!” He choked his own words off rather than risk vocalizing his pain.  “I’m a man of action, not a man of words! I must seem ridiculous, whining to the future hokage! Congratulations, again, Kakashi! I know it’s never been your dream, but hokage is still a great honor! You should tell me all about it! Don’t let my moaning and groaning dominate the conversation!”</p><p>Kakashi could tell Guy was closing himself off again, hiding behind carefully constructed walls of confidence and positivity. Guy has always been like this, always trying to reassure Kakashi, always trying to keep the mood light, always keeping others at arm’s length with a wink and a smile that was sturdier than any of the many walls Kakashi had built. Always putting others first. Putting Kakashi first.</p><p>In moments like this, Kakashi felt like he was letting him down again.</p><p>But nothing would make Guy feel far enough away for Kakashi to give up on him now.</p><p>Guy was alive. This was Kakashi’s second chance with him. He wasn’t going to let him down that easily.</p><p>Kakashi shook his head. “No, I’m listening. I want to listen. Talk all you want.”</p><p>Guy sighed, apparently far from comforted by the sentiment. “I’ve never liked being pitied, Kakashi.”</p><p>Kakashi knew that. He’d realized that over the years. Guy’s apprehension was something he could relate to, but he wasn’t sure what words of comfort he could offer, and each passing second of silence felt heavier than the last.</p><p>Guy laughed, a hollow, mirthless laugh. “Maybe it’s better this way. Starting fresh from the ground up sounds like something I can manage. Razing things down might be easier than trying to pick up the pieces again. I’m just the ashes left behind by the eighth gate, anyway.”</p><p>Kakashi could hear his breath catch on those last few words, like he was about to cry. Guy turned his face away, just of Kakashi’s line of sight, or what would have been out of his line of sight with just one eye. Guy wasn’t quite used to dealing with a Kakashi who had both eyes active at all times again.</p><p>“You know, I can handle change. I thought I could adapt to whatever life threw my way. I wanted to prove to myself that I was strong enough to rise to any challenge, that nothing could ever truly defeat me,” Guy’s voice was just above a whisper. “I’ve believed that my whole life. But sometimes, things happen so fast, all at once… I just don’t have the time to dam up every little thing I’ve lost. I don’t even feel like this is my body anymore. It’s not supposed to feel like this or fail to do the things I’m pushing it to do. I’ve dedicated my entire life to perfecting this body. Moving my body around was the one thing I was supposed to be the best at. I’m not supposed to mess up like this anymore. My dream was to guide Lee to greater heights. I didn’t want Lee to see the man he idolized as a weak, sad old man. I didn’t expect to make it past this. I wasn’t prepared to wake up.”</p><p>And there it was, the terrible thing that no one had been able to mention. Even Guy himself couldn’t seem say it directly, could only bring himself to allude to it.</p><p>
  <em>I was ready to die. I’m not sure if I was ready to live.</em>
</p><p>Maybe that wound was too fresh, maybe it was too soon. Kakashi felt anger and frustration knot up inside him at the implication Guy was making, but he held his tongue. He couldn’t turn this into an argument.</p><p>Guy was crying now. His back was fully turned away from him, but Kakashi could hear it.  It was nothing like the tears he cried on command when he was being hammy. It was a horrible, delicate sound.</p><p>He knew Guy must have been in bad shape if he was being so open about his feelings now. Guy usually internalized these things, but he was reaching out for support. His heart ached for Guy and the fear, pain, and uncertainty he was dealing with.</p><p>Kakashi wracked his brain, searching for some small tenderness he could offer to his friend, but his words had run dry. So instead, Kakashi stepped closer, bent down, and tentatively looped his arms around Guy, locking him in a soft embrace from behind and trying to ignore the small pain from the way the back of his wheelchair pressed against him from this position.</p><p>They didn’t say anything, just remained like that for a while. Kakashi could hear Guy’s breathing return to normal. He finally let out a short laugh as he rolled his wheelchair forward and tried to pull away from Kakashi’s embrace. Kakashi didn’t let him.</p><p>“I try to keep moving. All of the time.  It helps me not think these about things. But I can’t even do that properly now. The one thing I’ve worked for all these years and it’s—” Guy paused a moment, mouth half-open. “…When I’m not moving forward, when there’s nothing left to do… everything comes flooding in. It’s harder to keep moving now. This rotten body of mine won’t do what I tell it to anymore. I’m <em>regressing</em>, and it’s pathetic.”</p><p>His voice broke again, barely perceptible. Kakashi held him tighter, buried his face in Guy’s hair, breathed the scent in.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Kakashi finally told him. “But is this okay now?”  He meant the quiet of this moment, the two of them here like this. He meant Kakashi, himself, here like this, with Guy. </p><p>
  <em>Can I just be here?</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Is it enough? </em>
</p><p><em>Does it help</em>?</p><p>He wanted to know, to stay with Guy like this. He wanted to be the one to stubbornly pull Guy out of the dark this time. If he had to be, he wanted to be Guy’s wake-up call to remember that there was something here worth living for. Not just to pay Guy back for doing the same for Kakashi innumerable times, but because Guy was here, despite all odds, and Kakashi never wanted to lose him again.</p><p>Lee would be better at this.</p><p>Lee would understand Guy’s point of view better. He would be able to find better words to shake Guy’s heart and make him smile genuinely. But Guy would never voice things like this to Lee in the first place. Guy would never dare show pain or struggles like this to Lee. Lee saw him as invincible and unshakeable, and if Lee ever saw him hurting or as anything less, then Lee would blame himself somehow.</p><p>The fact that Guy was letting Kakashi see him like this at all was probably his way of asking for Kakashi’s help, and no one else’s.</p><p>When Kakashi was in ANBU, and even before then, whenever Kakashi was obstinate and antisocial, Guy would always find a way to get past all those walls. Either to get on his nerves, because being annoyed and pissed off was better than being numb and hopeless, or to make him laugh and have actual fun, things that he always swore he forgot how to do until Guy managed to bring it out of him, again and again.</p><p>Kakashi couldn’t do that. He didn’t know how. He never learned. It wasn’t something he’d ever tried to copy, and now he didn’t have the sharingan to try to.</p><p>After what felt like an eternity, Guy finally turned his head slightly to look at Kakashi and nodded slowly, still caught in the awkward embrace.  His dark eyes gleamed from recently shed tears.</p><p>Kakashi pulled back enough to turn Guy’s wheelchair around so he faced him properly. He could finally hug Guy properly. The physical contact felt so nice. It wouldn’t fix everything, but still, relief washed over Kakashi to finally feel Guy’s arms wrapped around him.</p><p>Surprise touched him as still-trembling arms enclosed around Kakashi’s waist, holding him in a reluctant embrace. As Kakashi eased into the touch, Guy allowed his eyes to slip shut, a gentle smile at his lips. It had been so long since Guy had felt this kind of warmth, this kind of touch, the support of someone Guy could lean on weakly without feeling like he’d failed somehow. At the corners of Guy’s shut lids, tears began to form, though he did all he could to cast them aside.</p><p>Kakashi was reminded once again that Guy was alive. This was not just Kakashi’s imagination or a dream. The world wasn’t playing tricks on him. He really was here in his arms.</p><p>The familiar tension settled between them again, filling the narrow space between their bodies.</p><p>“I would have missed you,” Guy admitted.</p><p>Kakashi felt a heavy pang of something strike his heart. Before, when the tables had been turned and Guy had reached out to hug him, this kind of closeness would have terrified Kakashi. The intimacy that had made him so uncomfortable once was now causing a strange warmth in his heart. Kakashi squeezed him tightly, before realizing that he probably should let Guy breathe, or he would die for real this time.</p><p>Letting him go quickly, he leaned away to give Guy his personal space back.</p><p>Kakashi wanted to apologize again, wanted to say sorry for being difficult, wanted to tell him that he appreciated everything Guy had ever done, that it shouldn’t have taken years before he said that properly. But ‘sorry’ didn’t seem right. It didn’t feel like the right sentiment to express, especially now that he could feel and hear Guy’s every breath, now that this was their second chance, now that Guy was really, truly alive in his arms. Instead, he offered him a simple truth.</p><p>“You told me something, once.”</p><p>Guy blinked. Any other time, he would have joked, “I’ve probably told you many things, I didn’t know you were ever listening, though!” but now he was silent. Kakashi swallowed.</p><p>“While I was still in ANBU, you took my book, ‘How a Shinobi Should Die,’ and you threw it into the river. We got into an argument. You told me one of the reasons I should keep living, even if couldn’t understand it then. You said that one day, I’d be sharing my life with people I loved who loved me too, and it’ll never be perfect, but it’ll be so good that I’d remember what it felt like to fight to <em>live</em> instead of to die. Even if it’s impossible to think of why you’d ever want to live right now, someday you’re going to live a life that’ll make it impossible to think of why you’d ever want to die.”</p><p>“Is that day today?” Guy asked. He seemed intrigued now.</p><p>Kakashi chuckled. Maybe he could work his way through this. “It might be.”</p><p>“I’ve always been a bit of a hypocrite to you, Kakashi. Did you want me to apologize? I’m not really sorry for it, though…” Guy shrugged. He sounded smug, and he almost smiled. “After all, here you are. Your students have all returned, safe and sound, living and breathing and happy, and you’ll be hokage soon. Everyone looks up to you. You’ve made your peace with Sakumo, Minato, and even Obito. Your demons have all been laid to rest. It’s just like I said, isn’t it? You’ve found a good life, Kakashi. I’m happy for you. I’m so happy for you that I’m green with envy! You should be proud! You’ve always deserved a soft, happy ending like this, and since the world wouldn’t give it to itself, you reached for it and made it with your own two hands.” Guy winked and added. “And your two eyes.”</p><p>“I never could’ve made it here without you.”</p><p>A self-satisfied grin alit Guy’s face, “You’re damn right! You scowled at me when I said it back then, but in the end, I guess this proves that I was right and the genius Kakashi was wrong! That sounds nice, actually! I finally get to see you eat your words and realize I was right all along!” He bellowed proudly.</p><p>Kakashi softened. “You really were.”</p><p>“I know!”</p><p>“I should have listened to you from the start. Not just in anbu –way back, as kids.”</p><p>“I know!”</p><p>“You’re a bit smarter than me… in some regards.”</p><p>“I know!” Guy planted himself in a stubborn stance with his hands on his hips, laughter shaking him. For the first time in a while, he looked like himself.</p><p>“I’m in love with you.” Something that Kakashi should have spent their whole lives saying, something that Guy deserved to hear long before now.</p><p>“I kn—” Surprise flickered in Guy’s dark eyes, so brief that Kakashi almost missed it. His smirk gave way to an unreadable expression. “That’s… really?”</p><p>Kakashi couldn’t help himself.  He touched Guy’s cheek, cupped it a little too tightly.  His skin was still rough and he could feel traces of the invisible scars left behind by the dreaded gate of death, but it was warm. He ran his thumb gently over the slope of Guy’s cheekbone.</p><p>Guy laughed and leaned into his touch, and Kakashi wanted nothing more than to kiss him, to show him “yes” without using words. It would be so much easier that way. But Kakashi could sense a woundedness in him, had heard as much from the tremor in his voice when Guy answered, “I’m not sure how to feel! You’ve always chosen the dead over the living. If you say something like that to me, I really will feel like I’ve gone to the other side and I’m only a ghost here! I don’t enjoy being talked to like I’m already in my grave!”</p><p>All those years of being late because of time spent in the cemetery, avoiding the living and missing the dead, were suddenly catching up to Kakashi. He didn’t have a response for that.</p><p>Filling the silence, Guy asked more directly, “You aren’t only saying that because I’m as good as dead in your eyes, are you?”</p><p>“I’m saying that because I’m not going to leave you behind.”</p><p>“You might want to reconsider then.” Guy glanced down. Kakashi followed the line of sight to his cast. “Despite appearances, I am still alive. I don’t want niceties meant for a tombstone yet.”</p><p>“They’re not—”</p><p>“But, well, I’m talking as if I’m already dead, so I can’t blame you for mistaking me for a tombstone, Rival! I have to get a grip! I’m only the ashes of a weak old man if I think I am! This is still the springtime of my youth! Or summertime, as the case may be!” Guy’s breathing was still subtly heavy, his stamina was still shot. But otherwise, he showed no sign of rejection— only bravado, and sickness. He flashed a pained, determined grin, and it sparkled. “But it’s far from my winter, Kakashi!”</p><p>Kakashi ran gloved hands over Guy’s face; sweeping his bangs from his eyes. “I know you’re alive. I know better than anyone, Rival. I know what a corpse looks like. I know what a corpse feels like. I know what a gravestone feels like. Not like that.”</p><p>Kakashi gently moved his hand down to Guy’s knee, more or less bringing Guy back to reality. Kakashi could feel his pulse racing still, but it wasn’t as bad as it had been. His breathing had slowed back down, too.</p><p>Kakashi was in front of Guy now and, as he looked into his eyes, he kneeled before him. “Your hands are so full of life… They’re warm…” Taking Guy’s free hand in his and catching Guy completely off guard, Kakashi pressed his lips against the rough palm of his hand. “There was a time when I took these warm hands for granted. I’m so glad you’re alive. If you weren’t, your hands would be cold. I’m so glad you’re still warm, Guy… I don’t want to wait until all I have is a cold, grey tombstone… I want you as you are. I love you as you are. Warm and full of life. Give me a chance to be the one to reach out and catch your hands, this time. I’m not waiting until you’re six feet under where I can’t reach you anymore. I want you here and now. I love you. And I know you love me. You can have me now too –however you want me, whenever you want me. I’m yours.”</p><p>Kakashi’s two eyes burned with resolve, and for once, Guy was the one who was shaken and at a loss for words. He wasn’t pulling away anymore, though, physically or otherwise. And he wasn’t pushing Kakashi away yet. Kakashi nuzzled into the palm of Guy’s hand.</p><p>“You still believe in me, don’t you, Rival? Even if you don’t, that just means I need to try harder. You’ve never once given up on me. I’m not going to lose to you in determination. Let me prove I’m just as good as you are. Give me the chance to prove that. It’ll be our latest challenge.”</p><p>“Kakashi, I’m not—” Guy started, but Kakashi could feel in his pulse the way his heart trembled at those words. They were still rivals, if nothing else. A challenge with Kakashi still lit a fire in Guy’s veins, like it always had.</p><p>“I love you, Rival. Spend the springtime of your youth with me.”</p><p>“I…” There was something that had been rising to the surface ever since Guy woke up in that hospital bed, a certain kind of fragility that threatened to break and overflow. Something that made Guy pull away and avoid Kakashi’s gaze. “I need to train.”</p><p>Guy wheeled backwards, and Kakashi let him go.</p><p>“Once I’ve got my youthful spirit back and there won’t be any part of my mind that wonders if you’re saying that to make amends or pity me or mourn me,” Guy said. “Will you give me another chance to respond to your feelings?”</p><p>“…Mmh.” As difficult as it was, Kakashi quashed his impulse to pull Guy close again, to make up for lost time and prove to Guy that Kakashi believed that they had time to make up for lost time now, that Guy really had convinced him of that now.</p><p>He’d wait.</p><p>For Guy, he could be patient. Even if the right time never came again. Even if Kakashi had already blown all the lifetime of perfect chances that Guy had given him again and again.</p><p>His rival was alive. That was enough.</p><p>As long as they were still breathing, they’d have a lifetime of second chances.</p>
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